Bullish Bias, Compressed Charts
Ahoy there, Trader! ⚓️
It’s Phil…
You ever get that feeling the market’s just waiting for a reason to move?
That’s where we are.
It’s been a quiet start to the week – barely a pulse.
And Tuesday? One signal. Just one.
But it was a bullish pulse bar, and it paid.
Price is still coiling, compressing tighter, and Bollinger Bands are pinching harder than a crab on Red Bull.
We’re seeing the classic signs of range contraction – which usually means a range expansion is coming.
So what’s the move?
Stay bullish.
Stay patient.
And be ready to pounce the moment price breaks free.
Today’s calendar gives us a few nudges – ADP, GDP, ECI, PCE – nothing major, but enough to cause a wobble or spark.
The bias is bullish.
The system’s ready.
And if we break out of this pinch, I’m looking at 6106 on the swing.
Even a dip to 5400 wouldn’t change the structure – just another spot to reload the bulls.
Let’s finish April strong.
Let’s grab another one by the horns.
⬇️⬇️⬇️ – keep scrolling for more in-depth analysis – ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Most Trade SPX Blind. You’ll Trade It Like You Designed It.
Pulse bars flip the lights on. You see it. Trade it. Bank it.
SPX Market View
GEX Analysis Update
- 5500 Flip Point
- 5600/5650 overhead call wall
Expert Insights:
Mistake #1: Assuming news equals movement.
Just because data drops doesn’t mean price pops.
Fix: Always wait for price confirmation. Pulse bars > economic guesses.
Mistake #2: Ditching the bias at the first wobble.
A dip isn’t a collapse.
Fix: Know your structure. Dips to 5400 are still within a bullish regime.
Mistake #3: Forgetting the role of compression.
Tight ranges often precede big shifts.
Fix: Don’t ignore the squeeze. Bollinger Band pinch = breakout fuel.
Rumour Has It…
In a desperate bid to solve market stagnation, Wall Street has reportedly hired a motivational speaker named Terry the Turnaround Candle.
His credentials?
He once convinced a doji to become a dragonfly.
Sources say he opens every session with, “Are you going to let that Bollinger Band define you?!”
Meanwhile, the Fed is beta-testing new AI price models based on squirrel hoarding patterns in Central Park.
Traders remain cautiously optimistic.
Squirrels remain heavily long acorns.
This section is entirely made-up satire. Probably.
In other News…
BREAKING: Powell booed off stage after bombing crypto punchline.
Lagarde opens with a killer inflation joke – crowd explodes.
-
World Economic Forum Rebrands as G-Funny – Monetary Policy Now Comedian-Driven
In a historic vote, the G20 has been disbanded and replaced with G-Funny, a global financial council where stimulus packages are tied to crowd applause. Central bankers must now win over audiences with tight five-minute routines on monetary policy. -
First AI-Powered ETF Launches That Only Buys Stocks Based on Movie References
The “Tickerflix 500” trades solely on tickers that sound like films. Holdings include COKE (“Cocaine Bear”), META (“The Matrix”), and AMC (“Every Movie Ever”). It’s up 33%… or maybe that’s just popcorn sales. -
AntiVestor Releases “Market Mood Rings” – Your Fingers Now Know More Than You Do
These new rings glow green for breakout setups, red for emotional revenge trades, and purple if you’re just being a complete clown. Traders claim improved discipline and fewer keyboard smashes. -
NYSE Floor Replaced by Trampoline Park to Encourage “Bounce Trades”
In an effort to promote optimism, all trading floors are now spring-loaded. Analysts bounce between screens while chanting “buy the dip” in synchronised rhythms. The VIX doubled in the first 4 minutes. -
Swiss Central Bank Adopts Cowbell-Based Communication Protocol
All monetary announcements must now be delivered using a set of alpine cowbells tuned to policy tones. Hikes ring in B-sharp, dovish pivots in low C. Traders report improved clarity and mild tinnitus.
This is entirely made-up satire. Probably.
Breaking scoops courtesy of the Financial Nuts Newswire-because who needs sanity?
Fun Fact
Did You Know?
The term “month-end rebalancing” sounds official… but it’s really just fund managers shuffling things around so their spreadsheets look prettier.
They often trim winners, pad laggards, and balance sector weights.
But in low-volume markets like this week, even tiny shifts can cause weird little waves that trigger setups.
So when price “randomly” spikes or dips late in the session on month’s end?
It’s often not news – it’s bookkeeping chaos in disguise.
Which is why we trust setups, not headlines.
Meme of the Day
“When price compresses so tight even your stop-loss feels claustrophobic…”
Happy trading,
Phil
Less Brain, More Gain
…and may your trades be smoother than a cashmere codpiece
p.s. There are 3 ways I can help you…
- Option 1: The SPX Income System Book (Just $12)
A complete guide to the system.
Written to be clear, concise, and immediately actionable.
>> Get the Book Here
- Option 2: Full Course + Software Access – 50% off for Regular Readers – Save $998.50
Includes the video walkthroughs, tools for TradeStation & TradingView, and everything I use daily. Plus 7 additional strategies
>> Get DIY Training & Software
- Option 3: Join the Fast Forward Mentorship – 50% off for Regular Readers – Save $3,000
>> Join the Fast Forward Mentorship – trade live, twice a week, with me and the crew. PLUS Monthly on-demand 1-2-1’s
No fluff. Just profits, pulse bars, and patterns that actually work.
