Bears Had a Plan. Meta & Microsoft Had Other Ideas! | SPX Analysis 31 Jul 2025

Futures Punch Bears in the Plums After Overnight Gap

Ahoy there, Trader! ‍‍⚓️

It’s Phil…

Markets flirted with follow-through yesterday, breaking down from the range just as FOMC rolled through. The playbook was working… until the futures market grabbed a hammer.

Blame Meta. Or Microsoft. Either way, earnings gave tech traders the sugar high they needed – and now the bears are waking up to a 60+ point gap in the wrong direction.

“Atlas didn’t shrug – he just bought more Tech.”

A dynamic cartoon-style digital illustration shows Mr SPX in full tactical gear trying to hold the 6400 range high “PFZ” wall. Bulls armed with green flags and charging momentum are overwhelming his position, breaching the defense with glowing NATH arrows. Mr SPX is shown yelling into a radio while holding a cracked “NO ENTRY” sign as bulls storm past. The background is filled with market chaos, charts, and rising candles breaching resistance.


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SPX Market Briefing:

✅ Context Check

• We had a clean breakout through the range lows yesterday (6365).
• The pullback zone was in play for continuation shorts.
• Momentum confirmed the direction – bear swing still active.
• Everything was lining up.

Then came the after hours earnings… and the futures market decided to yeet the plan.

What Now?

Overnight, SPX futures launched over 1% on the back of tech earnings. That puts us in dangerous territory for bearish continuation – and right back in “range fakeout” land.

At time of writing:
Futures suggest a gap above 6400/6420
Likely to be opening outside the entire range

That’s not a bearish continuation. That’s a potential bull reset.

Current Tactical Map

  • Range Low: 6365 (confirmed broken intraday)

  • Range High: 6402.50

  • PFZ: Still ~6400 – acting as the gatekeeper – until the markets open!

 

Today’s Plan

Option 1Bullish Breakout above 6400

  • Wait for open. Let 30-60 mins shake out

  • If price holds above 6402.5 → Setup for breakout continuation (bull)

Option 2Break Back Into Range

  • Gap opens above but fails → reversal back into range

  • Look for breakback into range (bearish)

 

SPX 2 Analysis 31 July 2025


In Other News…

Markets Jitter Like a Caffeine Addict at a Meditation Retreat

Flat tape, twitchy hands, and one foot on the panic button

Wall Street woke up this morning like a hungover tightrope walker-wobbling between anticipation and existential dread.

Asia tried, kinda. MSCI Asia-Pacific squeaked out a 0.3% gain, led by Taiwan and Australia. Nikkei wandered off like it forgot what it was supposed to do. Traders there mostly just watched clouds and prayed Powell wouldn’t use the word “hawkish” in a sentence.

Futures played dead. Until they didn’t. S&P ticked down a humble 0.1%, the market equivalent of sighing loudly in a meeting. Energy and consumer staples took the day off-possibly to review their résumés.

But then-META and MSFT dropped the mic.
SPX futures suddenly jolted awake, vaulting 1% after Meta and Microsoft walked in like the cool kids at earnings prom. Zuckerberg handed out AI revenue like party favours, and Satya Nadella casually tossed a $3 trillion cloud around like a beach ball. Traders immediately unpaused their FOMO.

Meanwhile, the dollar hit beast mode.
The euro closed out July with a fat L, dropping into its first red month of the year. European exporters whimpered. Commodities mumbled something about “FX headwinds” and rolled over.

Sector rotation? More like sector stagnation.
Industrials, materials, and financials sat on the fence like they were waiting for Powell to send a carrier pigeon with instructions. Nobody wants to be the first to move-just the first to say “told you so” if it all implodes.

Bottom line: The market is strapped to a Fed-shaped heart monitor while big tech tries to play DJ. If Powell blinks, sneezes, or raises an eyebrow the wrong way-expect a full-volume asset class tantrum.

Satirical cartoon showing jittery traders on Wall Street: one clutches a coffee IV, another meditates nervously under a flashing “Fed Decision Imminent” sign. In the background, Zuckerberg and Nadella parachute in with bags labeled “Blowout Earnings,” while Powell looms above in a blimp marked “Rate Hints Incoming.” A giant dollar bulldozer crushes a euro piñata, scattering copper coins across stunned sectors labeled “Industrials,” “Materials,” and “Financials.”


Rumour Has It…

FinNuts Hazel was last seen shouting “TECH TO THE MOON!” while stuffing diamond hands stickers into her Meta headset. When questioned about valuation, she said:

“My P/E is infinity, baby.”

This is entirely made-up satire. Probably!

Breaking scoops courtesy of the Financial Nuts Newswire-because who needs sanity?

A widescreen comic-style illustration of Hazel from FinNuts Live inside her newsroom studio, wearing a full VR headset and screaming “NATH!” while pointing at a giant screen showing SPX futures exploding upward. The background is a chaos of market charts, ticker tape flying, and confetti blasting from a cannon labeled “META EARNINGS”. A coffee mug on the desk reads “ATH Again?!”, and a framed photo in the corner shows Hazel high-fiving a chart labeled “$META Moonshot”. Hidden Easter eggs include a “No Bears Allowed” sticker on her laptop and a sticky note with “Powell Blinks = Pump” scribbled on it.


Meme of the Day:

“Right in the Plums”

SPX Character Mr SPX cartoonified, doubled over in exaggerated pain, clutching his "plums" (subtly implied, not graphic). Eyes crossed. Maybe steam coming out of ears. The Kicker A massive, flying iPad shaped like a Meta earnings report mid-kick — one rocket on each corner, Meta logo glowing, with "EPS BEAT" and "CLOUD PROFITS" as ammo trails. Secondary Element Microsoft drone hovering nearby, smugly recording the kick like a spectator Chart Backdrop Light SPX 30-min chart behind the action showing the clean bear breakdown… then a vertical earnings candle ruining everything Overlay Text (Top) “SPX had a bear plan…” Overlay Text (Bottom) “…Then Meta kicked it right in the plums.”


Happy trading,
Phil
Less Brain, More Gain
…and may your trades be smoother than a cashmere codpiece

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